I just want to say that today, I crossed a turning point. There have been other turning points. Some smaller than others. All of them Important in ways I can't explain to someone that hasn't faced it.
The best way to describe this one is how I described it today. Imagine standing at the edge of a cliff, and knowing what is at the bottom is what you want. Imagine that you KNOW the ground is a long way down- a looooong way down. But what is at the bottom, it's what you want, what you need, and you know you have to jump to get there, no matter how scary it is. No matter how far down. The turning point is that moment, the one where you are standing on the edge and you go from being terrified of the fall to deciding to do it because you either do it or you walk away from it, but either way you can't keep standing there being afraid of it.
I decided I'm done standing there being afraid of it, and it's time to jump.